mail du mois de georgia

Not to blow my own Cosmic Horn, but did you know that my megafab new book ‘. . . startled by his furry shorts!’ will be available to buy with your mutti or vati’s hard-earned cash NEXT MONTH? I am so overcome with jelloidnosity and nervy spazzes at the thought of it that I am forever going to the piddly-diddly department and having to lie quietly with cucumber slices over my eyes and Jammy Dodgers to hand. I urge you to use whatever good sensosity is available to you and read the vair vair exclusive extract in the Ace Gang hang-out so you can impress your chums with insider info. Of course, my book is full of tragicosity and madnosity as I am once more stretched on the rack of love. But you will treat it with the dignity it deserves, I know. Read an exclusive extract – here.

Between Stalag 14 and the Cosmic Horn I don’t have much time for leisure, but Blimey O’Reilly’s trousers have you seen Big Brother?! Talk about a trip to Madland! They make Angus and Libby seem perfectly normal, which as you know they are certainly not, so it must be bad.

July will be a month of wonders and fabby sunshine, Ace Gangers! Make sure you get plenty of sleep in June so you aren’t suffering from exhaustiosity when we are finally freed from Stalag 14 and my new book is out!

I love you all
You know it’s true
Yes I do!




p.s. Keep your eyeballs peeled for the brand-new Message Boards – coming to the Ace Gang hang-out soon!



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alors voilà tout les mois je vus posterai le mail quegee fait paraitre sur le site officiel!

ooooh my god it's English!!and with all these expressions que I don't know it is compliqué!!there is a traducteur here?

oui si quelqu'un peuttraduire car vu lesexpressions de gee, c'est un peu compliquer!

Oh la j'avoue c'est pas simple! "jelloidnosity"

oui meme le traducteur de mon ordi n'arrive pas a traduire les mots de gee! faut dire aussi que meme en français parfois ses mots sont difficilement comprehensible! lol

Alors la je suis bien d'accord! Y a des fois ou je lis trois fois la meme phrase pour etre sure de comprendre! ^^

voici un nouveau mail de gee, elle ne le met jamais à l'heure mais au moins elle le met! d'ailleur elle parle du concour pour le top gang, et le gain est un sac gucci! c'est très gee!












Jas has just rung me in a state of complete fringe-flicking nervy spasmodosity! Apparently she went down to the shops in search of some blueberry chuddie, and saw that WHSmith are having a Georgia Nicolson fest! I couldn't really understand what she was saying because she was squealing, but she said something about ' . . . startled by his furry shorts!' being so bargainous as to cause a nervy b, and my other books also being sold at marvy prices!! Anyway, I am in the oven of love and cannot leave my bedroom, but I just thought I should let you know my little chumettes.

But ho hum pig's bum because there is much for you all to be gleeful and loon-like about! I hope you are all busy creating the most megafab new Ace Gangs in all the world? There is no reason why you couldn't have everybody you know (except perhaps the elderly insane) in your gang. If you win, ohmygiddygodspyjamas, your red-bottomosity will become legendary as you strut around doing the Viking disco inferno with your very own Gucci handbag! HOOOOORN! And even if you don't win, you might get a ton of vair marvy and bon Hardy Candy products which are so full of trendosity it's just silly silly silly.

So what in the name of little Baby Jesus are you waiting for? Get friendly!

Hugs and kisses
(but not in a lezzie way)






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si quelqui'un est capable de la traduire n'hesitez pas

voici le mail du mois!
Lack a day and gadzooks as the ace gang type scenario some twit in tights might have said, my life is so so full, dahlings. I have mates to listen to whilst they talk absolute rubbish (Jas, Ellen) or discuss viking weddings (Rosie), then there are the boy type fiascos and on top of this Stalag 14 has closed its gates so I am having to spend time, far too much time (i.e. more than a minute), with the Swiss Family Mad.

Why do muttis and vatis want to hang around with you all the time, haven't they got any mates? Actually sadly, they do have mates and that means Uncle Eddie hanging around as well telling his hilarious (not) jokes.

Still it is quite nice here on the Costa del Maddio, sitting around the pool with cocktails and glossy mags. Alright, they are mocktails and I'm sitting around Libby's paddling pool, trying to avoid glancing at her bulging swimming knickers. I haven't really fully recovered from when her swimming knickers exploded from poo in the local swimming pool and it had to be evacuated and drained. But my life still oozes glamourosity. That is what I like to think.

Anyway, as you know I love you all, a lot, and, even as I loll around trying not to get panda eyes from wearing my sunglasses in the sun, I worry about you. Keeping up snogging standards and so on. I hope you have been making the most of the summer, practising the Klingon salute and blowing your Cosmic Horn at every opportunity.

While of course taking the time to read '. . . startled by his furry shorts!'. If you haven't read it by now I can only assume it's because you've been stuck with your mad families on a glacier for the last month with the other polar bears on a special package holiday involving free fish snacks. If that's the case, don't worry, I forgive you. Otherwise. Oy!!!

If you have read it and are now in a ditherspaz or teetering on the edge of a nervy b at the thought of having to wait yonks and yonks for more of my marvelloso ramblings, er, I mean searing insights into the nature of luuuurve and plucking, do not worry. Because I love you (but not in a lezzie way) I have put some extra secret, devil take the hindmost exclusive extra bits on the website. Log in to the Ace Gang (I'm only sharing this with my bestest pallys) and look under Exclusive Extras.

Whilst you're online, did you know you can find your own mocktail recipes too? It takes some effort to become as full of sophisticosity as me and Jas (no let's not go mad and include Jas in the same sentence as sophisticosity, we have all, sadly, seen her enormous Winter pants) but get your bits of fruit out (leave it) and lemonade you too can achieve dizzy heights of glamnosity.

Also don't forget to tell everybody you know to join your own Ace Gang. I can't wait to see what names you all come up with in your moments of creativitosity.

And finally in the words from the Viking bison disco inferno dance....
Hoooorrrrrrn!

S'laters!


a vos tradustion!

voici le nouveau mail pour l'automne de gee:

As any fool knows (well, apart from Jas who quite literally lives in Jasland), October is the time to get out your mittens (oy, leave it) and woolly stuff. It is a time for heavy smouldering mascara eyes, (I don’t mean you should set fire to your eyes and let them smoulder, I merely mean that you should be full of Eastern promise eyewise. Look, try and keep up, I feel a snooze coming on). Where was I? Oh yes, smouldering eyes and snuggly buggly winter wear.

Yes yes, October is for dancing like a sex kitty through piles of leaves looking vair gorgey and marv in new expensive winter outfits fashioned from elks fur or something. (Or for the vegetarians amongst you, pea husks or orange peel.)

But oh no! Just because some selfish people (probably my vati) are warming up the climate with their clowncars revving and leaking emissions (look, I said leave it rudey dudey wise), just because of them it is October and still a million degrees. I am quite literally sweating like a baboon, and we know how much they sweat. A LOT. But I am not taking off my suede coat because it is fabby. My solution is to wear snuggly buggly outerwear but to be practically in the nuddy-pants underneath the coat. Now this might leave the dim amongst you sitting in your coat all night at a party, but aha! What I do is cunningly take a skirt and top in my handbag that I can slip into in the privacy of the tart's wardrobe when I get to wherever I am going.

As I have said many many times, little chums, you would all be up the creek without a paddle if you didn’t have me to rely on.

Anyway, what have you all been up to? You should be making merry on my website fandango (as it is technically known) and in fact I know you are because I have been looking at all your photos and laughing like a loon on loon tablets.

I thought Rosie and Sven were mentally deranged but they are Mr and Mrs Sensible compared to you lot. What are your messages like? I’ll tell you what they are like, they are like the messages sent by the very very insane. And it is of course why I luuuurve you all so very very much. Although this does not mean I am on the turn lezzie wise. It is still boy snogging for me.

Right, I am away laughing on a fast camel because Mrs Enormous Panties (Jas) is rambling on for England about something, possibly voles. But before I go and beat her to a pulp just remember my motto, “If you are on the rack of love, or in the dustbin of despair, a jammy dodger and a look at my website can help with the ag”.

That’s all amigos! Have a happy Halloween! If the orangutan gene continues being so rampant I’ll be going out dressed as myself… I don’t need a costume to look scary. I’m one step away from the lesbian monastery, where I will have the leisure to grow some mohair tights.

I love you!
Your hairy but still lovely pal.





HOT NEWS!! Number One author Louise Rennison is going to be in Cheltenham at the Literary Festival in October. Check out the details on the website. If you live in the area you could have a genuine Rennison experience. And if you do, make sure you get lots of snaps so we can all see them!


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J'ai pas tout capté vu l'humour anglophone de Gee que je maitrise pas encore... Mais son ptit truc sur Halloween est pas mal du tout, ca m'étonne pas d'elle! :p

voici le nouveau mail de gee! si quelqu'un pouvait traduire se serait le trop génial!

Sing, sing loudly everyone, “Build a bonfire! Build a bonfire! Stick the teachers on the top...” This is just a ludicrous old song, by the way, not an instruction to set fire to anyone really. Although if you have a headteacher like Slim, a) you would never ever in a zillion years get her to the top without a crane, and b) if you did she would put the fire out with her chins.

But let the cup of human kindness flow because it’s Fireworks-a-gogo Time, webby chumettes (and I don’t mean to imply that there is something of the mallard about you, merely that you are tip top in the interweb fiasco stuff). Me and the Ace Gang have already got everything planned. There is the usual fly in the manger because Jas is bleating on about the poor little cats and dogs who may not have bought ear-muffs. And will therefore be scaredy little cats and dogs and also possibly deaf by the end of the night. But time waits for no man, and anyway, why can’t they take their example from Angus and Gordy? They LUUURVE Bonfire Night. Angus wrestled a Catherine Wheel last year. It was top fun! I said this to Jas… well, I mimed it to her and, true to form, she just humped off saying I was “selfish”. Yeah, well at least I don’t hide Midget Gems and so on about my person. Never mind, I will buy her a copy of What the Fashion-wise Vole is Wearing this Autumn or Indescribably Boring Things to do with Fungi, or whatever, and we’ll be bestest pallys again. Because she is vair shallow. But I luuurve her.

Vis-à-vis sex kitty fashion for Fireworks Night – it is of course essential to maintain glamnosity. A word of caution, though, easy on the hair gel. I did once see the front of Mark Big Gob’s hair go up in flames when he lit his sad ciggie because of the inflammatory nature of his gel. Very very funny, of course, but it won’t be if it happens to you in front of a Luuurve God. Ditto boy entrancers and standing too near the fire. You don’t want, quite literally, melty eyes.

Sadly the Swiss Family Mad are planning to come too, but I will be eschewing them with a firm hand. If anybody sees me with them I will have to throw Vati on the fire in ritual sacrifice. I will cover my tracks by yelling, “Blimey, this is the biggest potato I have ever seen!!!” And thereby cunningly pretending I thought he was a snack.

Must dash, there are preparations to be made! Klingon salute to one and all.





P.s. Did you know that bisous means kisses in Froggy lingo? Not in a lezzie way though.

P.p.s Although you never know with the French; I think actually they invented lesbianism. Or was that the Hummus-type people? Oh, I don’t know, stop asking me so many questions! Live a little

I hope you all had a v jolly time over Chrimbo and New Year. I received a mixed bag of Chrimboli pressies – some fabby, others deeply weird, such as the neon yellow “bed sock” knitted for me by my grandpa’s girlfriend Maisie. Apparently it’s meant to keep both my feet snuggly buggly warm, but at three feet long and two feet wide it even keeps my nunga-nungas nice and toasty! I have become v paranoid about how big my feet must look to the casual observer. I am considering binding them a la Chinese method. On the bright side (and ohmygod is it bright!) Bibbs likes it and has taken to carrying all her scary dolls around in it.

My New Year’s Eve was as limp as a soggy bit of lettuce. Jas was with Tom on some kind of stupid vole-hunting expedition and Rosie went off to see Sven in Svenland. I’m not sure exactly where that is, but she came back looking like Chewbacca from Star Trek, wearing a furry suit with furry boots and a furry balaclava, so it must have been a bit nippy-noodles over there. I had a serious lurker breakout and was confined to my bedroom for fear of scaring off small children and potential Sex Gods. Meanwhile the “grown-ups” made a hideous racket screaming Abba’s greatest hits at the top of their voices. And I was the only one with enough maturiosity to tell them to turn it down by the time it got to three a.m. I still can’t get the images of my Vati prancing around in Mutti’s new knitted lime green nighty out of my mind. Erlack!

But this year I am turning over a new leaf of cheerinosity. There is much to look forward to in 2007, chumettes, including the paperback of my marvy book ‘. . . startled by his furry shorts’, my seventh book of confessions. And my fabbity-fab journal – a gorgeous, sparkly little book for you to write your own confessions in – and let your hidden genius run wild and free. It also contains personal organiser sections, a year plannerama, cool websites info, and lots of funny tips from moi! There will also be plenty to look out for on my website fandango. I can’t wait to see more of your photos and mad messages – send me snaps of your Chrimbo and New Year fun! Don’t let grey old January get you down, pallys, remember there’s nothing a quick bought of Disco Inferno dancing won’t cure.

I love you all very much, in a platonic and sisterly fashion.


voici les voeux de gee pour cette nouvelle année 2007

voici le mail de ce mois!


The hills are alive with the sound of PANTS, Sex Kitties!

Yippee, it’s finally spring! Bees buzzing, lambs skipping, cows, erm… mooing, and lots of Sex Gods Sex Godding about in the sunshine! Even Jas has packed her ankle length winter pants (I kid you not) away until next winter. And it’s the Easter hols, which means loads of choccy and time off from Stalag 14 to concentrate on the really important things in life – practising your boy-entrancing techniques, choosing groovy new springtime outfits and chatting to your mates on my website fandango.

But first of all, here’s the latest goss about me!

Yes, yes and three times YES! I am going to be a mega A-list film star! Me and the Ace Gang and all the characters from my books (yes, even Vati – groan) will soon be starring in Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal Snogging, my first ever movie. Stand back Lindsay, watch out Scarlett, Georgia’s here! Oh yes…


Also, the next part of my marvy diary will be out in July. It’s called ‘Luuurve is a many trousered thing…’ (because it really is, trust me) and is full of all my latest confessions of heartbreakosity, red-bottomosity and the general confusiosity that is my life.


Because I am forever giving you my all and baring my inner whatsit (oo-er), I’ve decided it’s time I got something back in return. So I’ve come up with a superfab new competition that I’ll be running on my website very soon. Just post a video clip of you and your gang doing your very own disco inferno dancing and the grooviest dancer, chosen by moi, will win a très bon prize. And I will get to laugh like a loon in loonpants! Check the site for all the latest news.
I’m so full of exhaustiosity after all that excitement that I must retire to my bed immediately. I love you all, and I promise I’ll remember you when I’m a mega-famous film star and get to go out with His Royal Highness Lord Jake Gyllenhaal.

I’d better start practising my signature!

enfin un email!

Dearest webby chummettes,

For once something good has happened to me. And no, my so-called father has not had a personality transplant or set fire to his stupid leather trousers. Unfortunately I do still live in Loonland with Swiss Family Mad. But I have some megafab news! Yes, yes and thrice yes!

As experts on my books, you will already know that me and the Ace Gang are partial to a touch of disco inferno dancenosity. In fact, I like to think we've created some of the grooviest dance moves ever. That is what I like to think. When you rush out and buy my fabby new book, 'Luuurve is a many trousered thing...' in July, you'll find that, because I love you all so much, I've even written a section on my fave dance steps – featuring a brand new disco inferno creation that really is tip top on the hilariosity front. So now you can share in my wisdomosity and get grooving too!

Now here's the brillopads bit: to celebrate the arrival of my new book and to get you all up and grooving, I'm going to have a webtastic GROOVATHON! And you're all invited! Starting from June 29th you can send in video clips of you and your Ace Gang (provided you are not a Billy No Mates like Nauseating P. Green) doing your very own disco inferno dancing. Then Louise Rennison will choose the top 25 marviest dances to enter a final dance-off. And here's the bestiest bit: you, yes you and your pallies, will vote for the champion QUEEN OF GROOVE! The winning groovster will win a pink iPod Nano with speakers and three runners-up will get super-gorgey gift packs from Nails Inc.

Just log on to www.georgianicolson.com – otherwise known as Groove Central – for updates on my new book and the webby GROOVATHON. What are you waiting for? Get practising your funky moves!

Big luuurve and luck to you all!

Dearest chummly wummlies

Summer time is here at last! Hip hip hooray! I’ve been down the park the last few days with the Ace Gang, catching a few long-overdue sunny rays, and hiding from my so-called family. I have been forced out of my own garden for fear of being blinded by the glare from my vati’s enormous neon-pink arse in his ‘fashionable’ Bermuda shorts. Oh, yes, he is THAT sad and embarrassing. Now do you understand what I have to go through? When forced to stay indoors with Swiss Family Mad, I have mostly been hiding away with the webby fandango, laughing like a loon on loon tablets at your hilarious disco inferno vids. Thanks for sharing your grooves with me and our Ace Gang web chummettes – they really were tip top on the hilariosity front. And now it’s time to announce the winner…

The champion Queen of Groove and winner of a vair gorgey iPod nano and speakers is… Miss Harper, with the very groovey Three Disco Inferno Dances video. Check it out in the gallery…

There’s also a marvy new thingummy on my MySpace page, called a widget. What the giddygodspyjamas is that when it’s at home, you may ask. And the answer would be erm… well… who knows? Ha ha – not really! It’s a thing that lets you browse inside my fabby new book. If you haven’t read it yet (Really, now, where have you been?) you can now take a peek before you buy it. Do you see? You can even copy it to your own MySpace page and share the Georgia Luuurve. Come on, little pallies, log on to MySpace and have a play with my widget (oo-er)!

Luuurve and (non-lezzie) hugs

Franchement je me demande même comment est-ce que l'on peut traduire ce genre de choses...

je me pose la meme question.

hello les chums! voici le mail du mois de gee

Dearest web pallies,

After a joyous summer (read this in an ironic way as you sit huddled under an umbrella while your jeans shrink in the rain) autumn time is here again! Which can only mean one thing: Stalag 14. Trapped in for evermore with the usual fools and elderly loons: Wet Lindsay, swishing her ludicrous Octopussy extensions and stick-insecting around the corridors, picking on anyone with even a hint of a cheery smile; listening to Miss Wilson drone on about Blithering Heights, or whatever ye olde beardy-type book we have to read this term; having a lark and a jape with well-known girl hater Elvis Attwood, who still hasn’t taken a trip to that Big Caretaking Home in the Sky.

But at least I’ll be free from Swiss Family Mad for a few hours. Yes, yes and thrice yes! And I’ll be able to spend some quality time with the Ace Gang: sharing cheesy snacks and snogging updates on the knicker toaster at break; practising the snot disco inferno in German; walking home as the hunchbacks of Notre Dame. I hope you and your Ace Gangs are living in Fun City, grooving to your own disco infernos and spreading the luuuuuuuuuuuurve.

Lots of non-lezzie hugs and kisses

si quelqu'un veut traduire!

Ce n'est pas une traduction litterale hin, mais le sens y est et en francais ca doit reellement donner quelque chose du genre :

Chers potos du web,

Apres un été joyeux ( précisons que c'est de l'ironie comme si vous étiez assises sous un parapluie pendant que votre jean rétrécissent sous la pluie), l'automne est de nouveau arrivé ! Ce qui veut seulement dire une chose : Stalag 14 . Piégée dedans pour toujours avec les abrutis de d'habitude et les carrement gateux : voir Lindsay trempée remuant ses ridicules extensions d'Octopussy et sa maigreur dans les couloirs harcelant tout le monde sans même un faux sourire chaleureux; ecouter Mademoiselle Wilson ronronner à propos des "Blithering Heights" ou tout autre vieux et barbant livre que nous avons à lire ce trimestrre ; echageant des plaisanteries avec la fameuse fille qui deteste Elvis Attwood qui n'a toujours pas pris son ticket pour le paradis des concierges.

Mais au moins je serais libérée de cette famille de tarés suisses pour quelques heures. Oui oui et triple oui! Et je pourrais passer un temps précieux avec le Top Gang : en nous echangeant des crackers au fromage et à nous raconter les derniers potins sur les baisers sur le radiateur pendant la récré; en faisant le tout-shuss-sur-le-disco en allemand; en rentrant à la maison en faisant le bossus de notre dame. J'espere que vous et votre Top Gang vivez à Fun City , groovez sur votre propre tout-shuss-sur-le-disco et que vous distribuez l'amûûûûûûûr .


Pleins de calins et bisous (pas de lesbienne hin)

Pas mal... trés instructif! :p
C'est Louise qui écrit les mails du mois à ce propos?

Waip normalement c'est elle qui les écrit !!


(apres à savoir si y'a d'la p'tite main d'oeuvre derriere, peut etre mais j'en doute, au pire elle doit vérifier avant la mise en ligne)

moi je pense que louise les écrit et qu'il y a d'autres personnes qui les mette en ligne car elle est très présente sur le site et il faut savoir écrire "à la louise" sinon je pense que ça se verrai

voici le mail du mois de georgia! si quelqu'un est assez fort en anglais...a vos traductions!

Dearest Chumettes

Brrr and also poo. It is mad weather here, sledging it down one minute then sleeting then absolutely boiling. When I go out I have to take my umbie, welligogs, coat, sunglasses, bikini and fur pants. Actually I am exaggerating, which is unusual for me. That last bit is not true; I do not take my fur pants. I can't because Rosie has 'borrowed' them. I don't like to think why. I think it is for her planned Halloween party, God help us one and all.

As usual her 'party' has a theme. Do you remember her fish party? I do. It will remain seared on my memory for ever. Sven wore a cod piece. And I do mean a cod piece... a piece of cod. And that was all he wore. We had to dance to music with a fishy theme, Titanic and Jaws, etc. I had been reading my mum’s book How to Make Any Twit Fall in Love With You and one of the methods it suggested was 'sticky eye technique', where you look at a bloke for just a bit too long, you look away and then up again etc. I tried it out on some fool from another school and it worked in an alarming way. He was mesmerised by me and started following me about like a seeing-eye dog. And he still does!!! Even though I haven't spoken to him in about a zillion years except to say, "Er, will you go away A LOT." So this is my advice if you get asked to a party by anyone at all like Rosie – do not go. I will not be going to her Halloween extravaganza, theme "Vikings at play”.

Oh and I have secret news full of excitingosity and glam about the film of Angus, Thongs & Full-frontal Snogging that’s coming out next summer. The vair vair gorgey Steve Jones of T4 fame is going to be in it! Phwoaaaar. I will tell you more from showbiz land next time.

Pip pip,